Who are Children's Books For?

One of the most meaningful parts of being a father to a young child is reading books. It doesn’t seem very special in the first year of their lives because they don’t understand the words or the stories that the books contain; however, I’ve found that there’s value in children’s books for me even as an adult. Numerous books intended for young children hint at simple concepts and ideas that adults can lose sight of. To some extent, I think children’s books are more meant for parents than they are for children. 

In this journal, I want to share a specific example from my child’s favorite book to read at the moment. It’s called I Wish You More by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and Tom Lichtenheld. The specific page that I want to expand on is shown in the photo above.

“I wish you more pause than fast-forward.”

What shows up for you when you read this message? I’d like to share my experience. 

Childhood Reflection

First, I think of myself when I was a child. I bring myself back to my own mind’s eye at the age of the child in the picture. How did I behave? Was I fast-forwarding all the time? Was I living in the moment? Was I worried about the future? Was I thinking about the past?

At that age, all I remember is playing and having fun. I was a very active kid, always doing something. So was I fast-forwarding through my childhood? I don’t think so. I was engaged in whatever activity I was doing. I think of pausing as staying in the present moment and fully indulging in your experiences. That’s what the child is doing in the photo. She’s closely observing the caterpillar. She’s getting down on its level and noticing what it’s doing. I would guess she’s not thinking about when her parents are going to tell her they are leaving to go home, or the next thing she wants to do at the park. She’s living fully in the here and now. 

Fast-forwarding consists of thinking about what’s next and looking ahead of the present moment. Fast-forwarding would be walking past the caterpillar because there’s “no time” to waste looking at it. The majority of the focus is towards the future or looking back at the past to see how it will impact the future; no time for what’s happening now. 

Sure, this is just a simple picture in a children’s book, but again, I encourage you to notice what comes up for you as you read those words and look at the picture.

Showing Up As A Parent

After thinking about my own childhood, I view myself as a parent. That page of the book sticks out to me each time I read it (probably close to a hundred times now). What does fast-forwarding in parenting look like? How often do I fast-forward through each day? How often am I looking ahead to the future instead of pausing to refocus on what’s happening right in front of my face? The realization usually brings a brief exhale and a wry smile. 

At first, it’s kind of embarrassing because a children’s book just kept me in check. Then appreciation comes around, and an opportunity to grow arises. I think about how I want to show up as a father and all the ways I do well or fall short. It’s amazing how a children’s book can unpack so much.

Connection To Mental Performance

Lastly, I connect to my expertise in mental performance. There’s a strong parallel between the book and concepts that I share in my mental performance work. I already mentioned one parallel, which is present-moment awareness.

For example, let’s take a high-pressure competitive situation in the context of pickleball (or choose whichever sport you want to apply). The score of the game is tight, and the player needs to execute their shots in order to win. The player is struggling to handle the pressure they feel. They start to lose feeling in their hands, their chest is pounding, and their mind is racing. The urge a player has is typically to get rid of those bad feelings as soon as possible. To do this, they let the pressure take over by avoiding, disregarding, or trying to change their internal experience. In other words, they hit the fast-forward button. The problem is that their attention goes to the past or future, and it stays there, taking their awareness away from the present moment.

So what would pausing look like in this context? 

Pausing would be the player taking a moment to examine their internal experience. They notice the game situation and feel the pressure building up. They recognize the symptoms that are showing up and give space instead of resisting or avoiding them. They acknowledge what’s happening internally and move on with their performance, even though the added pressure may not feel good. They know they can perform under pressure, and the pressure only yields as much power as they let it.

Repeated exposure to high-pressure environments is a great way to gain the reassurance of “being there before,” but those types of reps aren’t always feasible. Also, high-pressure environments can be created outside of competition in training, but usually only with a mental performance coach or other coaches present to facilitate it. One tool that everyone can use and create themselves is a game plan for how to handle themselves when pressure rises in competition. Having an understanding of the factors that impact you and noticing how you mentally, emotionally, and physically function in normal versus high-pressure competitive scenarios is valuable in creating your personal formula for optimal performance.

What's The Point?

How did we get from a children’s book to performance under pressure? 

The main theme of this journal comes back to one thing: presence. Are we fully in our experiences, or are we just moving through them? Do we stop and observe the caterpillar moving across the sidewalk, or do we walk past it? Find what this means for you and your performance.

With that being said, I wish you more pause than fast-forward.

Thanks for being here,

-SPB

P.S. — My 1-on-1 coaching is built on this exact philosophy - we get to learn from one another. If this post resonated with you and you're curious about how these ideas could apply to your own life or performance, you can learn about my services or schedule a free 15-minute call.