Stay in the moment!!

Have you heard that phrase before? Have you been told it? Have you said it? 

Sounds like such a cliché now, doesn’t it? Society and sports culture have taken hold of that concept and squeezed the life out of it. People don’t take it seriously. I think it’s unfortunate because the ability to reach beneath the surface, past the cliché, can be a powerful tool to use while performing. 

Losing sight

I was sitting on the porch with my 5-month-old son one evening as the sun was setting. The sky was painted with beautiful colors, and the air was a relaxing temperature as the day came to a close. However, for some time that we were sitting out on the porch, I wasn’t actually sitting out on the porch with my son. My mind was elsewhere. Thinking about what happened that day, what I did or didn’t accomplish, or worrying about something coming up in the next few days. My mind was everywhere except with my son. Initially, I was rushed with guilt. Then, a deep sense of appreciation and gratitude came as my focus turned to what was happening right in front of my face. My son was sitting there calmly in my lap, taking in his surroundings, and occasionally looking at me with a smile. 

In that moment, I caught myself. 

It’s fascinating how easy it is for our attention to be swept away by things that aren’t even real. Why is the present the hardest to pay attention to? I think that’s too loaded a question to discuss in this journal alone, but it deserves recognition. When I think back on my day and try to notice each time that my mind wandered from the task I was doing, it’s overwhelming! The human mind loves to think, create scenarios, rationalize and irrationalize, and problem solve, which can be beneficial because it ultimately allows us to survive, but so often the output of our mind takes us away from what matters. 

While we are performing, the thing that matters most is what’s in front of us. If we don’t respond to the thoughts running through our minds effectively, our performance can take a hit because our attention is elsewhere. This is why having the flexibility to adapt when unhelpful thoughts arrive can return our attention to the reality that we are facing.

Connection with values

The reason I felt guilt, sitting with my son, was because there was a conflict with my values. I value quality time with family, but my attention was on something else. We’ve talked about how discomfort can come when moving towards your values, and I think this is a prime example of it. I was spending time with my son, but my mind pulled my attention away from what I value. I noticed the inconsistency, and I felt discomfort through guilt as I realigned with what really mattered: spending quality time with my family.

Personally, I get caught in the trap of telling myself that this should never happen to me, because I care about my values too much to ever lose sight of them. Well, it’s easy to underestimate how powerful our thought machines (minds) are, and it’s irrational to think we have control 100% of the time. Playing the game of extremes, such as saying we should never lose control of our thoughts or always have the discipline to stay in the present moment, is dangerous. The odds that you will “always” or “never” do something are not in your favor, so give them the mental weight that they deserve. Hold those extreme thoughts lightly so that you can unstick yourself from the trap of perfectionism.

The Alternative Motion: Return > Stay

Here’s the real problem with the phrase, “Stay in the moment!” It’s the word “stay”. It’s impossible to “stay” in the moment all the time. As I mentioned, our mind is a machine that continuously generates thoughts that draw and divert our attention. A more accurate word would be “return”. Return to the present moment. We have a choice to make when our focus shifts. We can choose to follow wherever our thoughts take us, or we can return to the present moment. For example, a pitcher just walked a batter. His mind wanders to the idea of the walked batter scoring or the walk being the reason that his team loses. He can choose to follow those thoughts while facing the next batter, or he can bring himself back to the mound and the new batter he is pitching to.

The concepts we’ve talked about in each journal entry go hand in hand. We can notice our thoughts, create space from them, and bring our focus back to our actual reality. This is what choosing an Alternative Motion is all about. We can perform at our full capacity.

So how does someone return to the present moment? One way could be using your senses. If we use the example of a pitcher, they can bring their attention to the baseball in their hand by gripping it or rubbing their hands on it. They can take their hat off and wipe the sweat off their forehead. There are a number of different sensory cues an athlete can use to bring their attention back to their performance. Ultimately, it’s up to the athlete to figure out what works for them. This is where a method of trial and error can take place. Practice the mental skill of using a sensory cue just as you would a physical skill. Try using it outside of your sport first, then add it in during practice, then eventually to competition. Like all mental skills, returning to the present moment is not a quick-fix skill. You’ll most likely struggle with it to start, just like layups with your non-dominant hand were difficult when you first tried. Be patient and persistent.

What’s Your Move?

Notice times in your performance or daily life where your focus drifts. Ask yourself:

• Where does it go? 

• How long did it take you to notice? 

• What came up for you emotionally when you lost focus?

• How was your performance or task impacted? 

• Were you able to return to the present moment, or were you too far gone? 

• What cue works for you to refocus? 

• What value are you moving towards or away from?

Lastly, ask yourself this question when you notice your change of focus: What’s right in front of my face?

Thanks for being here.

-SPB

P.S. — My 1-on-1 coaching is built on this exact philosophy - we get to learn from one another. If this post resonated with you and you're curious about how these ideas could apply to your own life or performance, you can learn about my services or schedule a free 15-minute call.